That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You have to summon your inner elephant
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
