"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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