Umm I'm too high to move.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
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She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have aggressive nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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