Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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