rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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