If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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