I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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