im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
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No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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