Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
