I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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