i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
