I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
