I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
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How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
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he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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