ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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