Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
