if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
