I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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