yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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