why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
