Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He did a backflip because drugs
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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