You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
