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Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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