even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
its liver damage thursday
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
