My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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