I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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