Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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