how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
