I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She's the barista slut.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to