Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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