yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...