Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
