Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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