ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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