My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
