i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Boobs speak an international language.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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