How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Randomize
