You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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