what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
