Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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