Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
