pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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