We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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