Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
