the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
