I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize