No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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