drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
