I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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