I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I AM VODKA MAN
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
