I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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