my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
