even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize