She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
