If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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