one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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