I got chris browned last night
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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