p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
