I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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