Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
