is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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