bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize