I will die if light touches me.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Naked Twister starts at high noon
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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