Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
