I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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