ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
